As promised in my previous post of a similar name, and because shortcomings of this kind are depressingly abundant, here is Part Two of my list of things everyone should know.
If you are suffering, or more to the point causing suffering, from a lack of knowledge of one or more of the items listed below, please read through to the end. Instructions will follow.
Everyone should know:
How to use Four-Way Stops
When was the last time you approached a four-way intersection marked with four stop signs and confronted another driver, and all two or three or four of you knew who was next to proceed?
I'm not talking about a hand gesturing, hi-beam flashing Morse code communiqué that negotiated the next to go. I'm talking about the law; the test question that all of us took on the path to our driver's licenses. Who is the next through the four-way stop when there isn't a mechanized traffic light to guide the thoughtless automatons of automobile antipathy?
If you approach an intersection not governed by the all-knowing red, amber and green of destiny, and another driver opposes you, do you know who goes first?
If you answered yes, you are in the minority.
Almost worse in my opinion, than the lack of knowledge is the culture of the uninformed to offer the polite hand gesture, brake pumping, hi-beam flickering, offering you the gracious chance to proceed in favour of the knowledge of actual protocol. Should a polite hand gesture replace the rules of the road? What if you can’t recognize that I can’t see through the windshield’s glare? What if you prefer to skip the insipid nonsense and just adhere to the agreed upon system formed in law?
This would normally be the point that the reader racked with some measure of guilt, will defensively point a finger back at the screen and declare: "Oh yeah, wiseguy! What’s the right of way, you handsome devil?"
Wisdom: "At an intersection with stop signs at all corners, you must yield the right-of-way to the first vehicle to come to a complete stop. If two vehicles stop at the same time, the vehicle on the left must yield to the vehicle on the right." From the Ontario Government Website. The guy to your right goes first, not the recipient of the gracious hand wave. Simple.
Learn for yourself at: http://www.mto.gov.on.ca/english/dandv/driver/handbook/section2.4.3.shtml
Knowledge is power, and sadly a scarce resource. In our society a forty minute test at the age of sixteen grants a lifetime of driving access. I don’t think I qualify in the same way for anything I qualified for when I was sixteen. From what I've observed, perhaps the office of Driver's License Holder should not be a lifetime appointment.
What I’m talking about
In my day to day life I regularly encounter a common glare of confusion in response to something I'm discussing that is well within general common knowledge. Occasionally this expression is entirely fair. I seem to recall some fairly obtuse and needless information.
I am pretty gifted in the useless gift of Clavin-esque trivial knowledge. It will never make me rich, because I'm not willing to appear on a game show and thus betray my Clavinage, but does prove to be a helpful muscle in everyday conversation.
The problem I have is that when I present a point or make a reference that wasn’t mentioned the previous night on American Idol, the obligation is then on me to slow down and enlighten the withering bulb in front of me to the coded KGB message I’ve stated, like Madrid is the capital of Spain. Why is it that the burden is on me to come down to their knowledge level with something that is perfectly within their grasp? Why don't more people feel the burden to brighten their bulbs up a little?
Celebrities are not Role Models
Actors are role models for actors, not scientists and astronauts. Pro athletes should be role models for young athletes, and only in the manner for which they’ve achieved. Holding famous people accountable for actions that have little or nothing to do with their chosen vocation does not reduce their value but our own. It’s like judging a knife for how well it writes.
This might seem about as obvious as “Don’t use a brick as a flotation device,” but still we not only follow but criticize, analyze, and evaluate public people on their personal and/or private lives. The people, or parents, criticizing the role models that were never intended to be so, should probably turn away from the TV and look in a mirror.
Tiger Woods’ golf is our business, nothing else in his life is.
The Internet has too many voices, but not enough brains
Online opinions are not news.
Every person who reads this blog, or more accurately both people who read this blog, have the power to publish their thoughts and make them available to every person on Planet Internet. Having a voice carries an inherent responsibility. That responsibility falls equally in this era to both the publisher and the reader.
The next evolutionary step we have to make in The Information Age must involve the ability to discern information and opinion, and understand that subscription is a form of contribution. This medium's message is interconnectivity. Know how the information you are reading is collected or ingested, and even if it deserves to be called information. You are responsible for what you read, because even a digital footprint can be measured as support.
That being said, please keep reading.
Social Networking is not a Game, it's a Tool
Like any tool, when used improperly, outside of its purpose or without skilful caution, that tool will injure.
Super Mario Bros, Play-Doh, Lego, and a 1000 piece puzzle can be great pastimes, but they don't actually accomplish anything productive. They are essentially the same at the start as they are at the end, as are their users. They are games.
A chainsaw is very little if not productive, but it is a roaring motor with a chain of sharpened teeth protruding from the side of it. For the people who aren't properly trained, don't take them seriously or aren't paying attention, chainsaws probably do more harm than good. More harm that is, to the lower halves of their legs or to their buddy's fingers.
Understand that the tool you are using connects you and your ‘friends’, and potentially exposes you and them to the entire digital world. I always feel bad for the people I see posting personal thoughts and emotions they are sure to regret, information about their families when they haven’t set their privacy options, or tagged pictures of their friends that look great the morning after a party, but not excellent when a prospective boss does a Google search on them.
I feel an equivalent stream of pathos for the guy with the air-powered nailgun nail sticking out of his forehead. On top on being itchy and an annoying hat deterrent, it is a failure demonstrated to the world.
I’m not trying to suck all the fun out the ubiquitous white and blue fantasy land. Like a guy doing an ice sculpture (with a chainsaw), it can be awesome, when it’s done right.
First Aid
In around six hours of class time you could learn how to save a life. Does this really require any persuasion?
What it's like to be Stoned
The Drug Prohibition Debate or The War on Drugs Debate, depending on to whom you speak or desire to influence, is so bizarre when you think of it. On both sides you have a small number of people deciding what is best for a far larger number. This really at the center of any political debate to be sure, but they are talking about something that only does direct harm to the user, but they are usually fixated on an entirely different form of harm.
Further from that, and far less actionable, but in another way far more insane, is the amount of drugs that are already legal, killing us in far greater numbers and distantly more addictive, namely booze, bad food and nicotine, and are often fundamental staples of our culture.
One person’s medicine is another person’s coffin nail. That’s probably the way it will always be. On the other side, I can’t help but think, and I’m not alone here, that if the staunch anti-drug crusaders put down the wine during their campaign toasts and tried a little ‘puff, puff, pass”, a great deal of the demon would cease to be so scary.
Personally I wouldn't care if all drugs were legal tomorrow and then punishable by stoning (funny?) the next day. Drugs of all kinds are really not a part of my life privately or socially, it's not something I could even give two political rat droppings about. It's the argument that bothers me.
I don't like the fact that it's clear we'll not agree on this any time soon, in fact the forty years of tip toes to the left and back to the right have served only to let illegal traffickers capitalize on misguided crusaders.
I don't like the argument because, from the political podiums of this culture, it isn't being made by people who feel impassioned to make a change for the improvement of a group affected either negatively or positively by drugs, they are using the argument and the ire of their audience to hold up their podiums and sell some campaign buttons. An argument for arguments sake is something I've only done when I was stoned, and it never produced anything fruitful, or nearly as funny as it seemed at the time.
Hey, don't those politicians smell funny, and that one sure is sniffing a lot...
Your Turn to Talk
When was the last time you had someone appear to think it was helpful to endeavour to finish every sentence in a conversation for you? When did become a form of courtesy to pull someone forward through to the end of their statement?
It seems that this instinct, in its most benevolent shade, is intending to demonstrate that you are sharing some sort of wavelength. The person you are trying to communicate with is trying to show how much they ‘get you’ by finishing your thought, like in some giggly romantic comedy.
This is actually dropping an anvil right on the neck of communication, and I’m not just saying because I happen to be consistently dropping nuggets of brilliance that taste better as a complete meal. It is really in the evil black heart of egotism that we find the bravado to assume that our point is more important than that of our…
Opponent?
I was going to say counterpoint.
When to Blame the Tools
There are times when it was the chainsaw’s fault, or your cell phone’s fault or your email’s fault, for maiming or sex texting accidentally, or a ‘reply to all’ when only one was intended. These occurrences do exist. Humans are imperfect and thus we do build imperfect machines to do our cutting, and cutting and pasting.
There are other times, and these tend to be the majority winners, when we should have measured twice, not been attempting the witty text retort while driving, or kept our thoughts on the boss’ company-wide email memo to ourselves, but sadly we ‘human it up’ instead.
There are still other times when we had no business using that particular tool. We didn’t get the training, we skipped the instruction manual, and we nodded blankly as the salesperson offered the warning we should have heeded.
If you are blaming the tool and it is clearly the fault of the inept skill you demonstrate, that the tool is pointing back with the same accusation, or you are that guy with the nail sticking out of your forehead, most often in my experience, the tool is right.
Believe me, it sucks when the tool is right. If you don't know it, learn it.
In conclusion, if you are subject to any of the above failings, please seek help, the proper instruction manual, a little patience, a big joint, or a well designed helmet. There are people out there who do know these things, and they frankly are better humans.
Man, this nail is itchy.
P
No comments:
Post a Comment